two camels...

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

Every step that I take is another mistake to you

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all
I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

Every step that I take is another mistake to you

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I knowI may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I've become so numb
(Tired of being what you want me to be)
I've become so numb
(Tired of being what you want me to be)

-Linkin Park, Numb


i have tickets to see Dave Matthews Band on November 13th. mother is giving me shit about going, all stuff about taking care of corissa. and for once i am standing my ground, and i am going to this concert. this has put a huge wedge between the two of us. it might actually be, the straw that breaks these two camel's backs.

i'm not your child, i am your daughter, i am an adult, and you will treat me with the respect that i give you.

finer than your first grey hair

twinkle twinkle little bat
how i wonder where you're at
up above the world you fly
like a tea tray in the sky

-the doormouse in Disney's Alice In Wonderland

i went to Long Branch again last night. it was wonderful, i went with louis, michael, and christine. it was the first time in a while that we have all been togehter, perhaps the first time since michael stopped living at dominc's. but for however much we have changed in those few months (and we have, you can fee it in the lapses in our conversation during the car ride, when we can not find anything in common to talk about) we were still rolling around on the floor hysterical with laughter thinking of times when we were little, all the stupid things we did, the things we got in trouble for.

i saw a shooting star. i couldn't believe it, it was so tiny, hardly even there, but louis managed to point it out to me. one of the other things that i love about the shore is being away from so many lights, and being about to actually see stars. i am always asking louis to take me to the planetarium. (wow, who actually admits that?) so to see no only a star, but a shooting star, was a gift. but i wasted my wish! i wished for my brain to get better, but i know that i an impossible task. besides, i've been wishing for that on everything: first star, birthday candles, the wishbone.

i should have wished for a poney named delilah.